renewing in the desert

Over the past few weeks Greg and I have been doing some serious soulsearching, wrenching heart opening, and simple honest communcation.And after all was said and done we decided that, though we couldliekly have a simple and beautiful relationship, at this pointneither of us was ready to take any leap of faith to be nearer tothe other. And so, we parted ways, with a great deal of sadness anddeep emotional turmoil. There were no harsh words or fights, asimple letting go, which is a lot harder than one might imagine.So, last week was pretty much filled with sadness and crying in theshower and on my way to work and in my pillow at night.

And, this weekend I headed out with a friend for the high canyon country. What a wonder filled weekend. I felt like we were little kids exploring this big huge world and every little thing we found was an object of beauty; every little flower, or twisted juniper trunk, or shard of pottery, or shooting star, or golden cottonwood leaf, or anasazi house, or fern growing out of the rock. The deep hike down into the canyons, and the ruins, and the swim in cold dark pool, and the scramble up steep sandstone walls, and the nap in the warm sunlight of mid afternoon, and the shouting of echoes across the canyons beneath shooting stars, and the running around the canyon rim in fairy wings, and the being under the open sky all night as the stars fell and Pleiades journeyed across the sky and Venus and the moon rose in tandem and shined down on our beating hearts. I felt that we shared and connected with this beautiful world.

I was pulled into the beauty of nature that I find, continuously throughout life, renewing and refreshing and reminding me there is a much greater goodness, the spirit of oneness out there. I really needed it. Life is truly a wonderful gift and is really what we make of it. I am overflowing with a desire to fill my life with beauty in thoughts and actions. I am so glad to be here, now.