a different kind of holiday please

so, wow, we went from thanksgiving straight into Christmas....and it's not even december yet. actually, let's admit it, the christmas decorations were in the store practically the day after halloween. does it get earlier every year? whatever, unless you are 12 or younger, you are likely tired of christmas before it even arrives. and why woudl you want to be tired for christmas. you're supposed to be spednign time with family and making nice dinners together and helping out at some local organization and trying to work for a better world and making the world a better beautiful place....at least that's what i think jesus would have wanted, isn't that his whole sotry really...trying to make the world a better place?

and is that accomplished by going out and spending lots of money and time and getting stressed about shopping for people whom are doing the same for you? and then we all go home at the end of the day and are not happy because we are stressed and don't feel like we spend enough time together and so sometimes we aren't even nice to those same people we just went shopping for.

instead, imagine waking up with same special people, spending the day together on some outdoor adventure, volunteering, or just hanging out at home working on projects. then eat dinner together and paly a family game. wow...all of a sudden that sounds a lot more appealing right...and less stressful. i had a wonderful time over thanksgiving with my family. one part i won't forget is i was trying to make a bunch of beads and my parents and brother sat down and helped me for an hour, it was so nice just sitting there, working on a project and chatting.

now, my family is fairly traditional when it comes to christmas. both sides of the family still love buying christmas presents and in our big family of 6 the presents come exploding out from under the tree. some of those things i wouldn't want to control....i will not call my grandparents and wax on environmentally and sustainably for a good long time so that they stop buying us stuff. i think that would be, well, rude. they honestly love doing it and think it's fun and i can only be thankful for what i might recieve. with my immediate family it may be a little differnet. we all appreciate our time together and hvae often times made homemade gifts. by speakign gently and explaining what i really want at christmas time (love, time together and eachother) i think my family will understand.

it's a difficult path to manuever as none of us want to insult others or make them think we don't appreciate all they do. that said, if we want to make christmas more about what it really is (a celebration of the birth of a wonderful example of love and selflessness) we can approach the discussion with the same love that we want to impart to the holiday.

and here's what bill mckibben has to say about that.

Are you brave enough to say no to a high-stress holiday? By Bill McKibben

thank full

i missed thanksgivng yesterday. i thought about posting but we were up to our elbows in tofurkey-cranberrysauce-pumpkin-pie-making-craziness. we always say that we actually have no interst in traditional thanksgiving day food...none of us really like it. but johnny wanted to have it traditional. and can you blame him? ...he spent all week in school learning about thanksgiving and what it means, and here we wanted to serve him lasgana. geez, it is so great havigng a little person in the house. his enthusiasm and energy keep us all cheerful and excited about life. i am thankful for simply being here. my family is amazing and the more time i spend with them, the more i love them. i have wonderful friends who do wonderful things with their lives. i have so many people to love, and the more i meet the more love i feel surrounded with. i live in a beautiful part of the world, and try to appreciate it every chance i get. even with the gray of winter approaching, i love the sandstone walls and big open skies that fill with amazing stars every night. i'm thankful that i can appreciate that beauty and that i have met people that feel the same way. i am thankful for the clarity that has come to me over the year about my relationships, dreams, and goals in life and that has helped guide decisions both big and small. i am thankful for people's understanding and love. i am happy with my career and the satisfying beneficial work we do and all that make it happen. i am enjoying the creative energy that has been flowing through lately and for the spirituality that has begun to blossom. i am thankful for my new friend that is helping me see even a deeper level of beauty in the world and for the envelope of seaglass. i am grateful for so many people and places and ideas that have made my life as it is.

Message From the Hopi Leaders

(a friend sent me this message, beautiful and true. i'm looking forward to my life, my path, the river with whom ever may be by my side.)

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered.
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore,
push off into the middle of the river,
Keep our eyes open and our heads above the water.
See who is in there with you and celebrate
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally.
Least of all, ourselves.
For the moment that we do,
our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle
from your attitude and your vocabulary
All that we do now must be done
in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we've been waiting for.

renewing in the desert

Over the past few weeks Greg and I have been doing some serious soulsearching, wrenching heart opening, and simple honest communcation.And after all was said and done we decided that, though we couldliekly have a simple and beautiful relationship, at this pointneither of us was ready to take any leap of faith to be nearer tothe other. And so, we parted ways, with a great deal of sadness anddeep emotional turmoil. There were no harsh words or fights, asimple letting go, which is a lot harder than one might imagine.So, last week was pretty much filled with sadness and crying in theshower and on my way to work and in my pillow at night.

And, this weekend I headed out with a friend for the high canyon country. What a wonder filled weekend. I felt like we were little kids exploring this big huge world and every little thing we found was an object of beauty; every little flower, or twisted juniper trunk, or shard of pottery, or shooting star, or golden cottonwood leaf, or anasazi house, or fern growing out of the rock. The deep hike down into the canyons, and the ruins, and the swim in cold dark pool, and the scramble up steep sandstone walls, and the nap in the warm sunlight of mid afternoon, and the shouting of echoes across the canyons beneath shooting stars, and the running around the canyon rim in fairy wings, and the being under the open sky all night as the stars fell and Pleiades journeyed across the sky and Venus and the moon rose in tandem and shined down on our beating hearts. I felt that we shared and connected with this beautiful world.

I was pulled into the beauty of nature that I find, continuously throughout life, renewing and refreshing and reminding me there is a much greater goodness, the spirit of oneness out there. I really needed it. Life is truly a wonderful gift and is really what we make of it. I am overflowing with a desire to fill my life with beauty in thoughts and actions. I am so glad to be here, now.